The whole situation that Nat is facing is preposterous. Flowers are natural and the wind could have blown them in. How absurd to call that littering! Another example of a victim being victimized by the law.

I’m so sorry about the loss of your son and the unsolved mystery surrounding it. My son was killed on May 22nd of 2012 and the police completely and utterly messed up the investigation.

Thank you for sharing your daughter’s and your family’s story at mysteryoriley. Losing your husband just 5 weeks later, I can’t even imagine. The things you’re feeling are so familiar to me and other parents of lost children and loved ones, a kind of familiarity that never fails at bringing up the idea that we may lose our minds. I think we do, in a way. Out there somewhere in time, and if we’re very fortunate, we find opportunities to recreate our minds and our hearts. They are never the same, but they can be beautiful again. I know it’s early for you to read these words, as your heart is ripped apart.

It has been almost 6 years since we lost Owen. I can’t tell you how many times a day I think about him, the books I want to buy for him, the conversations I wish I could have with him, and, yes, even wishing I could clean up his room. I know this now, though, he survives through his brother, my husband, and me. He will always be in our hearts and in our heads, indeed, never lost, just surely in another dimension.

Child loss is uniquely cruel and there is no such thing as “closure” or time limits on your grief. I do not know about spouse loss, but can only guess that it is cruel in its own ways. The complexities of losing both of them so close together are sure to complicate your journey. I hope you have a network of support. If not, and if you have the means to get help, I hope you find an experienced grief counselor who understands “complicated grief” – it is its own creature, unlike any other.

At a certain point, we begin to incorporate our grief into our lives as a way to keep our feet on the ground. We begin to look for ways to contribute to others who are walking similar paths. And, strangely, we begin to heal. I wish you healing, Francibe.

Take care of yourself and your 21-year-old.

Linda

My daughter passed away a year and a half ago. She lived 33 days. She lived a lifetime faster than we celebrate our summer vacations, we will never know why. I love her and miss her and think about her always, and life continues to go on. I read a couple of your posts and the song, “If i did Young” came out around the time of our daughters passing and these lines will forever stay with me,

“Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors
Oh, and life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain’t even gray, but she buries her baby”

We have survived this although at times i still cant believe this is our life. I don’t have anything to offer other than I am thinking of your family tonight. Lots of love to you.