mysteryoriley

Two years ago tonight, Owen had what he called “the best night of my adult life”.  I wonder, how could he spend the best night of his life with friends in our home, and go missing within 48 hours?  Simple.  Because nothing is certain in this life.  The best of times, the worst of times…I hold onto the times in between.  But, for tonight, I’m committed to the past, and ultimately, to the future…

Dave and I are on vacation from work as of today at 5:30 p.m.  It doesn’t feel much like a vacation to me.  What I feel tonight is so far from “vacation” it’s almost an adventure into the forever-unknown…again.  That’s how I feel about life in general…all of it is unknown until it’s been experienced.  And, oh, there’s that part about “if you live it and no one knows, did it really happen?” (if a tree falls in the woods…).  One thing IS certain, Owen experienced his last days, people know, they were there, and they are still not sharing.  I won’t be able to live these memories without wondering how different things might be if those individuals did that thing they still cannot do – tell us what happened.  So I, we, live in the forever-unknown.  But, someday, someone will crack…someone will realize they have an obligation to LIFE, to share What Happened to Owen Riley.

Of course, almost every song on the radio tonight is a reminder that Owen’s life was something precious, something we hold onto, something we can’t imagine living without (but do), something we take into the future.  Pink Floyd (Consciously Numb), Lynard Skynard (Sweet Home Alabama), ELO, Paul Simon, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Poison, Rolling Stones, Nirvana, Marcy Playground, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Beatles (Revolution – we all want to change the world!…freakin’yeah! – ha!), REO (it’s the end of the world as we know it)…I can’t recall everything we’ve heard tonight because Nat, Dave, and I are here on the patio, talking, remembering, crying, remembering, crying…on and on….

The night is young, but I am not.  I’m waiting to see the 4th star of the Big Dipper, then I’m off to bed.  My eyes have to work hard to see that dim star in the sky, the one that holds the ladle to the handle, the 4th star, the glue, Owen’s star, the dim, but integral star.  Oh, hey, the next song is:  ”You Really Got Me” by the Kinks.  And, by the way, I’m okay with that.  LIFE, ya really got me!

I’ve made it my life’s mission to live, love, and laugh, since you left us, Owen.  Really?  Weren’t you just here with me, saying, “Goodnight, Mumma, I love you.”  Two years ago, a lifetime.  So many have left us, so many are in our hearts.  I love you, Bubba.  Nat is here with me.   He keeps saying, “I know.  I know.”   He loves you still, always will, ya know?

Song for the night:

Song after THE SONG:

If you’ve actually scrolled down here, you might want to look at: Eye in the Sky, Alan Parsons Project (I can read your mind…looking at you, I can read your mind…):

~ by Linda on May 26, 2009.

Posted in astronomy, beauty, brothers, child loss, grief, friends, Nat Riley, Owen Riley, Michael Douglas Riley, Linda Siniard, loss, love, children, death, family, friends, grief, learning, Life, missing persons, mothering, music, mystery, parenting, sleep, writing
Tags: Alan Parsons Project, Big Dipper, child loss, grief, friends, Nat Riley, Owen Riley, Michael Douglas Riley, Linda Siniard, loss, love, David Tegnell, death, Emmitt Owen Riley, grief, Linda Siniard, missing children, missing persons, music, Nat Riley, The Kinks