mysteryoriley

Lea wrote a wonderful post about my husband, Dave, this morning (okay, yesterday now). Everything she said is true.  We’re so lucky to have him in our lives. He wrote the sweetest piece for Owen’s memorial.  I often remember little snippets of his eulogy when I’m driving to work, or walking down a grocery aisle noticing particular foods he used to cook for Owen, or watching him play games on the computer.  I see and hear him from that day as a courageous, loving dad to Nat and Owen, and his daughters; a devoted husband to me; and a kind and gentle friend to everyone.  Like Lea said, his stories can become quite long, so she gave him the nickname “detail man” a few years back.  

I had always thought it was just us, just this part of Dave’s family, that wouldn’t let him finish a story, until a gathering at his uncle’s house in 2006.  We call that event, the Not-a-Thanksgiving-Dinner.  We were most definitely thankful, but Barbara (his mom) didn’t like to get together for holidays, too much fuss, I guess.  I think all of us knew this would be her last holiday season, and it was.

Tonight, as I was planted on the patio in 26 degree weather (not harsh by the standards of our northern partners, but cold for our locale), I was reminded of how little time we have to make an impression on those left after.  I don’t know why this theme arose, but it did, and I was compelled to come inside, to the household temperature of something comfortable, oh, about 72 degrees.  Entering the kitchen was like walking into a blanket with satin bindings – soft, warm, and easy.

I grabbed my computer from the side of our bed, cleared the coffee table of today’s activities, and wrote a short poem.  My poems are not masterpieces, they are random.  They are quick.  They are thoughts splayed out in raw form – mostly for me, but on rare occasions like tonight, they are for you, they are for our families, they are for those gone before.  This one is for my mom, for Barbara, for Owen – and for Dave because he inspires many of my posts, because he’s here, always here, allowing me to recognize my time with him – it could be so little time, and I’m thankful for every moment.  As much as these important people in my life didn’t/don’t  think of themselves as having anything in common, they did/do.  They didn’t know it way back then.  I’m sure, they know it now.

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A Little Time  

We only have a little time

To make an impression

To leave an imprint

To make someone who loves us laugh

We only have a little time

To dance our particularly odd dance

The one they will remember

The one they will try to imitate

And fall short, for the inevitable grief that overcomes their memories

We are born, nurtured, loved, confronted, won, and victorious

And we spend our little time confirming what we know to be true

That we are not here forever

Nothing is, nothing can be, nothing wants to be

We want to be here in this instant

In this little time, our little time

When they recall our quirky movements, our different speeches

Those captured in photos they will love forever

Those that made us unique

They will be reminded that we knew

We always knew

That we only had a little time

To be us

To be the person they wanted us to be

And to be the person we simply

Were

*******************

Random.  Thoughts.  Imprints.  We simply…are.

Song for the night:  Takes a Little Time, Amy Grant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59TY1gi2r60

~ by Linda on January 4, 2009.

Posted in beauty, brothers, child loss, children, death, dreams, family, forgiveness, friends, grief, holidays, learning, Life, literature, missing persons, mothering, music, mystery, parenting, poetry, writing
Tags: child loss, David Tegnell, death, Emmit Owen Riley, grief, Lea Kelley, Linda Siniard, missing persons, mothering, Nat Riley, Owen Riley, poetry, Time