mysteryoriley

Dave and I watch the Food Channel a lot.  “Watch” is probably a verb that doesn’t actually illustrate what happens in our living room.  The Food Channel is a lot like white noise – something running in the background that wipes out those infernal, repetitive mind tapes (the ones that make us question reality itself), while masking the irritating sounds of living in a cluttered and noisy world.  Thanksgiving foods have dominated the last few days on the FC.  Well, of course.

We find ourselves watching some of the shows, and avoiding others (no, we don’t change the channel, we just get busy with other activities).  So, the channel plays on, and we go about our business, knowing that when our silent thoughts slide over into our communal household, we can spend a few minutes watching some celebrity chef concoct menus that are unlikely to end up on our table.  As comforting as a full stomach, thank you very much.

So many distractions are available at the click of a remote control.  Not so, with food.  One must spend time making the list (mental or written, makes no difference), storing the items until the timetable warrants their retrieval, then preparing each and every food – either from recipes memorized from years spent watching our parents or guardians, or from the pages of cookbooks purchased when we chose to delay paying for electricity, a car payment, even water.  Hours spent turning the pages of cookbooks are pleasurable distractions equal to trips to Disneyland prepaid on credit cards (for some of us, anyway).

“Dinner’s served!”  Sound familiar?  I recall those words like they were prayers answered with an audible “yes”.  I fondly recall waiting for those words as a child, and I remember saying them out loud (often at a decibel level normally reserved for concert halls), calling my family to the table, or the kitchen. 

We didn’t always eat at a dinner table.  We often ate in front of the television, like so many American families.  Healthy?  I don’t know.  Is eating in front of the television, plates propped on laps or a coffee table, any less healthy than eating at a proper dining table (candles lit, napkins in laps, manners upheld), if the company at the dining table is uninviting, intimidating, or disturbing?  I think not.  I think eating is something that deserves calm, pure calm. 

That’s why holiday feasting can cause huge gastric conflicts (internal and external – use your imagination here).  I’m talking about the kinds of conflicts that make us want to grab our full plates and retreat to the comfort of the guest bedroom, where the television (without cable), is more compatible than the 14 family members just outside the door.

I’m speaking more from outside observation here, than experience.  I’ve (fortunately) lived a life in which holidays were something we enjoyed.  Food was shared together, either at a proper table, or various folding card tables, or coffee tables, even comfortable chairs with enough room to place a plate on your lap and still have room to spare.  And, we were all there together.  I can’t recall anyone ever feeling a need to retreat to a guest bedroom to eat alone.  I am grateful for my years of yelling, “Dinner’s served!” and having everyone gather together, plates in hand, waiting for food prepared with love and…well, if Dave was cooking, garlic.

As much as I’m dreading our first Thanksgiving without Owen at the table (or the coffee table), I’m looking forward to spending the holiday with a family that cherishes our common history, our common losses, our common love of good conversation, and ultimately, good food.  I have no doubt Owen will be among us, in spirit.  He surely will be felt, surely loved.

What if we could change our destinies?  What if all it took to change our lives, was the click of a remote?  From personal experience, I can absolutely state that no one should miss a holiday with family (or any day, for that matter), when a J-O-B asks you to commit to something that can’t compare.  Forget your job for the day.  Forget your boss.  “Does it ever seem like life is out of control?”  Hold the holidays as though they were your last with each family member.  They just might be.

Two songs for the night: Click, movie trailer – Adam Sandler

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PEJUn0KknFQ

AND:  Everybody Wants to Rule the World, Tears for Fears (”Nothing ever lasts forever, everybody wants to rule the world…”)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ughqjbzx2Fk&feature=related