Things Left Unsaid
Those things left unsaid, the tears we shed. What were those things Owen left unsaid, what were the tears he shed? I know those things about which I stayed silent, I know the tears I shed. I even know why. I’ll never know why Owen chose to share what he did, left much to his journals, and still more disturbing…left unsaid completely.
All of us choose our words, choose those things we can share in a safe and comfortable environment, and ultimately, choose the things we take to our graves. The question for those of us left behind, becomes simply, why. After our loved ones are gone, we continue to ask, without the hope of finding answers. (See my post called Repetitive Word Syndrome, for it could also be called Repetitive Topic Syndrome. Some of my posts repeat themselves, both in message and memories. Tough for my family, for me. Who in your life is choosing to leave things unsaid? And, why?)
I often wonder what things Nat, Grete, Emma, and Lara leave unsaid – to us. And, why? 42 years ago today, my father’s plane crashed. He lived for 11 more days, but was unable to communicate much to my mom who flew to Salt Lake City, to be with him in his last days. I’ve always wondered, what things did he leave unsaid? How could they have changed my mom’s life…my brother’s, mine, and ultimately, our kids’?
We choose. I hope our living children trust us enough to share those things they might leave unsaid, without knowing that we want to know, no matter how painful. Pain is exagerrated with the unknown. Speak out. Those things left unsaid are more painful than you can imagine.
“That’s why it hurts so bad to hear the words that keep on falling from your mouth, falling from your mouth, falling from your mouth…tell me, why…Do you know what I feel?…” Hearing those words would have been easier, than imagining those you never spoke, Owen. Or so I think, as your mother, your friend. Bigger than the sky, baby.
Song for the Night: Why, Annie Lenox
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ILJxICUIbCY
