Stand by Me, last day of summer
Many factors contribute to dates we associate with the end and beginning of each season. As a general rule of thumb (depending on your geographical location, your time zone, and the span of years – typically every four, think Leap Year), today is the last day of Summer where we live. If you want to get technical about the season-changing timetables, you can look elsewhere, and you may find me wrong. For me, today is the last day of Summer, 2007 – a summer Owen missed. It rained tonight in my town, and the lightening was unexpected…and beautiful.
Last week, I was up in Owen’s room, looking for something I can’t recall now, and I ran my fingers over his DVD collection. I stopped at ”Stand by Me”. I watched certain clips in my head, heard the song, and cried. I wanted to bring the movie downstairs and watch it. I couldn’t. Too soon, I thought.
This movie represents so many contented reflections of our family’s life before Owen died, and I didn’t know when I would be able to watch the movie again. So, I left the DVD in the bookcase, ran my hand over Owen’s bed as I walked toward the hallway, and descended the stairs. I’ve been thinking about that movie ever since.
This is one of those movies we watched so many times, most of us know the lines by heart. I can still see Nat and Owen lying on the couch or the living room floor of our various houses, watching, repeating the lines along with the characters, and feeling safe. Dave and I were there with them, also feeling safe.
The movie was released in 1986, the year Owen was born. It’s a coming of age story, the film adaptation of Stephen King’s short story, “The Body”. A list of my resistance to watching the movie this soon after Owen’s death includes:
- Gordy’s extreme sadness over the loss of his brother
- River Phoenix - an untimely death
- Dive from the bridge to avoid the oncoming train
- 12-year-old’s first cigarettes
- Innocence of youth
- Kids coming together with a common cause
- Wil Wheaton and his blog (a book of which was published by the company I work for)
- Adventures along traintracks
- Bullies
- Stephen King – one of Owen’s favorite authors
- The water scene
- And, of course, The Body
Now, that I’ve written about it, maybe I can watch the movie again. Sometimes, I find that once I’ve given my thoughts over to the page (or the screen), I can move to the next step. Once written, my thoughts are often truly realized. While I still feel Owen might walk in the front door at any time (magical thinking) and say, “Mom, I’m home” I know he won’t…ever again. Comfort and peace sometime visit me in memories, and “Stand by Me” is full of memories. Maybe I’ll find the courage to approach this colorful and sweet memory this weekend; pull the DVD from the bookshelf; grab a box of tissues; make a bowl of popcorn; and confront the past. And, hopefully, the future. I hope Nat can do the same soon.
Song for the night: Stand by Me, by Ben E. King
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VJ7Zi6jg8wM&mode=related&search=
“I won’t be afraid… just as long as you stand by me” We always will.
From the movie: “Don’t ditch me!” We won’t, not ever.
I wonder if maybe… the longer you wait, the harder it will be?
Could be just the reverse tho’. You’ll never know until you try.
There’s a song that Rick Srpigfield wrote called 4-21-1982 about the day his dad passed away. The hook line way “Daddy knows the great unknown.”
Jackie and I saw Rick in concert at the Universal Amphitheatre when it first opened and when he sang that song (which I had never heard before) I was dumbfounded/relieved/curious all at the same time. I still am and I still think of it whenever someone passes. There’s a certain envy about that (knowing the great unkonown). I think it would help us lead our lives more honestly if we knew. Don’t know why I’m writing this now, but I’ve meant to bring it up recently and maybe if I don’t do it now, I’ll forget.
So there… FWIW
Make that popcorn….watch that movie… see what happens.
Em
Also, cuz I know you find these kinds of things interesting some more coincidences. Like us and the Kennedys.
Jim and Carol’s grandson was born the day Francie died (actually within moments) and Amy Maire Benesh got married today — on Francie’s birthday.
Told ja’
Em
I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you’re doing. I hope all is well. Please, stay in touch!
Laurie Kendrick
Em,
We don’t even know how to react with all the overlapping dates, times, anniversaries, etc. Of course, things are going to overlap…there are only so many dates in a year, 365, as I recall. Weird, though that the Beneshes had two in a row associated with Francie. I know you went to the christening, did you go to the wedding?
L.
Great movie, Stand By Me. You might try watching it again. You never know, it might be a good thing to look those fears in the face.
Or not. I guess only your gut will know.
Thinking of you always….
Found out that the only thing that matters in life is good friends and this movie always reminds me of that.